On a recent interview, actors Dax Sheppard and Kristen Bell revealed that they went to couples therapy prior to getting married. Although they didn’t have issues in their relationship, they confirmed that couples therapy allowed them to communicate better. From a certain perspective, it’s a smart thing to do. Unfortunately, there’s a lot of people who won’t agree. So here’s a list of reasons why you should start going to therapy even if you’re in a good relationship.
not everyone likes to admit they’re in therapy
There are a lot of controversies that exist when it comes to couples therapy. “Why get help when we can fix it ourselves?” “Why bring a stranger into our lives to tell them all our problems and expect them to be able to fix it?” And not everyone wants to admit they’re in therapy. Who can blame them? The second you mention the word therapy to your friends and family, a long list of questions begin. “We didn’t know you were having issues in your relationship?” “Is everything okay?” “Are you planning to break up/divorce?” “What happened?” It’s no wonder that couples are often reluctant to go to therapy. They often fear what people will say and what the outcome will be. But what they often don’t realize is that going to therapy can actually be really good for you.
why wait until something is broken to fix it?
This is an interesting point that Kristen Bell brought up during the interview. “Why do you want to wait until something is broken to fix it?” Often, couples start going to therapy when their relationship has been damaged and there is almost no hope to fix it. Why wait that long? Why not start consulting a therapist before? If you’re going to therapy, it’s often because it’s your last resort to try and fix it. And at that time, there are already too many issues to solve so the relationship has already been damaged beyond repair. However, if you start going to therapy at an early stage or your relationship, you have a better chance of success.
going to therapy will bring up topics that you didn’t think of before
I’m not saying that you should start going to therapy as soon as you start dating, or even within the first year. However, as you feel that things are starting to get serious and you’re planning your future together (kids, marriage…), then yes definitely think about going to therapy.
Going to therapy will bring up certain topics and factors that you didn’t consider previously. For example, a lot of couples don’t talk about how they want to raise their kids until they actually have them. It’s once they have kids that they realize they don’t agree on everything. Or house chores, paying the bills, savings, religion and so forth. These are all important topics that as a couple you need to discuss. You don’t have to agree on everything, but you need to at least make sure you’re on the same page.
couples therapy will ensure a healthy relationship
A lot of couples don’t go to therapy and end up just fine. That could be the case for you and a lot of other people. And if it is, then that’s great. But if you’re the type of person that often likes to avoid conflicts and keeps everything inside, then perhaps couples therapy could be a good idea. Keeping everything inside because you don’t want to fight is not healthy because at a certain point it will blow up in your face. Going to therapy can ensure a good strong communication between couples in a neutral environment. It’s a place where you don’t have to feel judged and can say what’s on your mind without having it used against you.
It’s often the little things that after a while pile up and turn into a big issue. But if you address those small things at the very beginning in a safe environment, then you’re ensuring that your relationship has a real chance at survival. Not all couples need therapy. Some do just fine without it. But don’t close your mind to it. And don’t wait until it’s too late. Keep an open mind and consider it, because it can only do more good than bad to your relationship.