Catch a potentially toxic person before you even get to the second date.
The dating game can often be frustrating. Ideally, we’d immediately know if our date will be a good match for us.
But unfortunately, that’s not the way dating works (if only!). To help weed out the incompatible matches, here are some red flags that’ll warn you that your data isn’t so perfect for you.
Pay attention to how your potential match treats you on the first date. If they behave inappropriately, take heed of their actions.
If someone doesn’t respect your boundaries on a first date, they’re likely showing that they’ll go for whatever they want without considering your needs. They may also disregard your feelings if you feel uncomfortable.
Additionally, you should be wary of dates whose moods change rapidly or who easily become confrontational. If they behave this way on a first date, imagine how they could act down the line.
2. Too much too soon
Extremes are often a huge negative in the dating world. If you find that your companion is acting in an excessive way, you should think carefully about whether or not you are willing to deal with the consequences of their actions.
Usually, if someone shares too much personal information on a first date, they could have issues processing emotions or be extremely emotionally needy. So, if your date starts rehashing childhood traumas, steer clear.
Also, proceed with caution if your date starts doling out criticism. Whether your date shares unflattering stories about their ex-partner or grumbles about the waitress, excessive criticism could be a sign that your date has an extremely controlling personality.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, watch out if your date appears too eager to please. Extremely agreeable people often suffer from low self-esteem.
Nobody’s perfect, but you can choose which flaws you’re willing to accept before you agree on a second date.
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3. Decisions, decisions
If your date struggles to plan out what you’ll do together, consider if you’re willing to take the reins in a relationship. Clear indecisiveness is one of the red flags that your date battles low confidence.
Although it may seem like someone who doesn’t voice their opinions is simply laid-back, they could actually lack self-assurance. This, in turn, could prove problematic later in the relationship.
4. One-sided conversations
A first date is the best opportunity for two people to get to know each other. However, if your date spends the whole evening sharing their life stories, they may be self-absorbed.
In contrast, if your date only asks you questions, watch out! Although your date might just feel nervous, try your best to maintain a balanced conversation, so that you can both learn about each other.
If your date dodges all of your questions, it’s possible that they’re hiding some significant details from you. Their reluctance to open up could leave you wondering if they’re married or in serious financial trouble.
Obviously, you should also keep a lookout for strange body language, excuse-making, addictive behavior, or extreme rudeness. If you identify these red flags on the first date, you can avoid relationship drama or abuse in the future.
This article was originally published at Unwritten. Reprinted with permission from the author.